It can be hard to go through difficult periods in one’s life alone.
Most tend to bottle up the negative emotions.
Others may turn to substance use.
Some may seek revenge.
These are all easy mistakes one can engage in while transitioning through a difficult life period.
Heck, I’ll be honest and say I want to use alcohol until I couldn’t feel the pain of my son’s mother and I separating. The kicker here is that I don’t even drink! Yet, those negative emotions were pushing me to do something that I wouldn’t normally do.
Thankfully, I had a great support group that made sure I was not going to be drinking my problems away. Having a great support group can help to make sure that you don’t make any obvious mistakes while you’re not at your best.
Your support group will most likely be established through family and friends. These people are the most likely to provide you with the unconditional love that is so incredibly important to receive.
In my opinion, unconditional love is the most powerful thing on the planet. It’s such a great feeling to have a person there for you, no matter how many mistakes you may or may not make.
It helps to give us stability in a period where stability is probably not in our vocabulary. They provide you with a place to vent and be supportive.
While going through the separation with my son’s mother, the number one thing I wanted to do was vent. I wanted to talk about it repeatedly. I remember being worried that I had essentially become obsessed with it.
However, my support group was happy to sit there and listen while I rambled on about my frustrations.
After venting nearly every day, I was generally felt a lot better. It was incredibly beneficial to get it all out.
In past periods of difficult transitions, I would keep things bottled up to myself. Because of this, it took me roughly eight years to overcome the death of my father and accept this new reality.
It only took me four months to do the same after separating with my son’s mother and getting virtually no time with my son.
It is extremely hard to let yourself be vulnerable and tell people the emotions you are experiencing. However, it is one of the most freeing things one can do.
I also recommend seeing a trained therapist.
By seeing a therapist, you get the perspective of one that has plenty of experience helping people during a difficult transitioning period. This is the primary job of a therapist.
However, the most valuable aspect of a therapist is their unbiased nature in your situation.
Here is where I must tell you the one danger of a support group. Your support group can become biased in your favor. Rather than helping you overcome your difficulties, this can lead to one believing that they have made no mistakes, when it may be possible that you have.
Don’t fall victim to this. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. I’ve made plenty already and I’m not going to let my own support group tell me otherwise.
This is another reason why I think having a therapist is an important thing to do. It helps to keep you in check. Your therapist can tell you if you are following the correct path to overcome your difficulties.
Regardless, supportgroups are incredibly helpful. I would look to establish one even if you’re not currently in a difficult situation. You never know when you’ll need a shoulder to cry on.