If you’re not flexible with your co-parent, then your child will only have half of their childhood.
Think about it, at best, a single parent most likely has their child roughly 50% of the time. The other 50% is spent with your co-parent. This mean that each of you only have half the opportunities to do meaningful activities with your children when compared to a family that is intact.
The main person you’re hurting while not being flexible is your child. Let’s say parent B wants to take the child to a museum event during parent A’s custody time. If parent A chooses to not be flexible, the child will miss out on the awesome opportunity at the museum with parent B. Although parent B is upset, the child is the one that is ultimately at a disadvantage. He has been robbed of a bonding moment with parent B.
I don’t know about you, but some of my fondest memories from childhood are just going to random events with my parents.
If both parents keep this up, then said child will have half the childhood that others will. This is sad and completely unnecessary.
Parents are supposed to act like adults, not children. This means being mature when faced with something they do not like. If as co-parent’s you can master this, then I congratulate you. You’re choosing to give your child the best that you can. Even if it means putting yourself second. Here, take this digital high five, you earned it, I seriously congrats to you.
Don’t take this feat lightly. You should seriously congratulate yourself. Through this, you will not only give your child a better life, but you are also choosing to value your co-parenting relationship over your personal wants.
So really, you’re putting yourself third by doing this. However, it’s a necessary sacrifice for your child.
I can’t speak from experience here, but I’ve had quite a few people from broken households say they appreciate that their parents were able to be flexible with one another. If one was not flexible, then by the time the child transferred out of adolescence into adulthood, they had a much better relationship with the flexible parent.
I don’t see one of my grandmothers for this very reason. My grandmother had alienated my grandfather during my father’s upbringing. Eventually my father caught on. As a result, I’ve seen my grandmother a grand total of about 2 times. I don’t see my grandfather as much as I would like, but I see him more in a three-month period than I’ve seen my grandmother in my entire lifetime. Which reminds me that I need to go visit with him soon.
Even if your co-parent is not flexible in any way, I challenge you to become and stay flexible no matter what. I am very confident that your child will thank you for it later. Who knows, maybe your co-parent might come around and do the same.
After all, this relationship you have is not about you or your co-parent. No, it’s about your child.