Establishing Boundaries with Your Parents

Do you have parents that still try to control your lives?

First, know that they only do it out of love for you.

Second, know that it is not ok.

I am assuming I am talking to an adult. If not, you will be an adult one day so you might as well read on.

Fact of the matter is though, you are your own individual.

Once you enter adulthood, it can be difficult for some parents to relinquish control over their children. They still want to be there to decide every little thing for them.

I remember when my grandma, not my parents actually but the lesson still works, called in sick to work for me so that I could go to a family event. I remember being extremely angry with her. I had an obligation to work. If I was not very good friends with my boss, she could have even gotten me fired.

This is not ok.

You are an adult. Your own individual. How you live your life is up to you. Not your parents, grandparents, siblings, or friends.

I understand that my grandma just want me to be there. It was an action done out of love. However, she needed to understand what I just said. I was an adult, and the decisions I make are my own. I don’t need her approval or support when making them, and I definitely do not need her to make them for me. After I told her this, I went and I gave her a hug, told her I loved her, and moved on.

It seems like my family understood, because it’s yet to happen again in my family.

So here is what you have to do to start showing your parents that you are an adult now, and that you need to be treated as such.

It’s a bit complicated so make sure you pay close attention.

Get a notepad too for these super intricate and detailed techniques.

Are you ready?

The first and only step is to communicate.

Tell them that you are an adult and that you need to be treated as such now. Tell them that boundaries need to be set, because you’re not their “little champ” anymore. Nope, you’re a big champ now, and you’re your own champ.

Once you tell them this make sure to tell them you love them and that you respect them, but that they have to show that same love and respect to you.

Be firm and don’t falter.

If they refuse to listen then tell them this, if you don’t learn to make your own choices and boundaries now, then when your parents are gone, you will be at a loss on how to function as an adult. You won’t be able to do it because you never learned since they were doing it for you the whole time.

That’s it. You’ve done it. Enjoy your new freedom that was well over due.

If you’re a parent who does this. Let go of your kids as they become adults. Trust that you’ve raised them well enough to make the right decision consistently.

Chances are you have.

Stay supportive

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