What matters most to you?
Is it spending time with your family, making money, or maybe volunteering?
This could be a lifelong question that some of us never truly find the answer to. On the other hand, others may have found what matters most to them early on in life as a child.
The thing that matters most to me is this little guy.
This is my son Xander. I have realized that nothing is nearly as important as he is to me.
He is my world, and this means that nothing should come before him. Nothing!
I’m currently reading “The ONE Thing” by Gary Keller. In this book he sprinkles in quotes such as this one by Johanne Wolfgang Von Goethe, “Things which matter most, must never be at the mercy of things which matter least”.
I might not be able to pronounce Mr.Goethe’s name, but I can hear his message loud and clear.
Xander should be my number one priority and I should not let other things come before him. Why should something come before the thing that makes me happiest? That’s massively counter-productive in my opinion.
I mean, at the end of the day, happiness is what really dictates a successful and fulfilling life right? You might make the biggest company the world has ever seen and become the first trillionaire, but is it worth it if you sacrifice your happiness to do so?
So, make sure that you put what matters most at the forefront of your life.
I have been trying to figure out just how I can do this for Xander. Of course, my time is limited with him at the moment, but it won’t be that way forever. So, I am working on setting up my life to make sure that I can be there for every moment possible.
Create your own work schedule
This is massively important. If I were to work a 9-5 job, then guess what, I would not be able to be there during key moments of my son’s life. That’s 40 hours a week that I would miss. Multiply that by 52 and I miss 2,080 hours.
Personally, that is way too much missed time. So, I had to find a career where I could earn a decent living while making my own schedule.
I was already looking to invest in real estate, so I thought why not dive in full force, right? So, I became a real estate agent.
This way, I could make sure to be there during the most important moments. If there are times that I have to work while I have Xander, I can make sure to minimize the time spent away from him.
If I need to take an extended period of absence from selling houses to be with Xander, then I am free to. If I have clients I can simply refer their business to the other amazing agents in my agency.
As an added benefit, a lot of my work can be done from the comfort of my home. This gives me the power to make more money while also being with Xander.
This is what I did to make sure that I put Xander in front of my work.
When I say be available, that doesn’t mean just free up time out of your day for your priority. No, I mean you actually have to commit to giving your priority your attention. Be available both physically and mentally for your priority. You have to be there for whatever it needs.
For example, my priority is my son. I might make time out of my day to be with my son, but am I really there if I play on my phone the whole time that I am with him? I would argue a big fat NO.
You have to give your priority the attention it deserves.
Just to use another example, let’s say your priority is to become the next guitar legend. Firstly, you have to be available to play guitar. However, not only do you have to take time out of your day to play, but you have to actually focus on what you’re playing. You have to focus to make sure that every note is ringing out, you’re on tempo, and that you’re doing your drills.
Again, give it the attention that it deserves.
Create a Plan
Even if something is your priority, you will still get sick of it from time to time. So, as I always say, make a plan for these times.
I’ll use my son as an example again. I am currently making a parenting plan. One of the pieces of the plan will address moments when I might be not emotionally available as I want to for my son. It will remind me of actions I can take to keep him at the forefront of my attention.
Through this, I will always be able to make sure that I am giving him the best of me even if I have personal issues occurring.
Put Work into It
You have to work at it. Think of your priority like bank account. The more you feed your bank account, the bigger it grows. The more you take away from your bank account, the smaller it becomes.
Your priority is the same. The more work that you put towards it the bigger it will become, but if you slack off in giving it the work it needs, it won’t grow. It could possibly become even smaller.
So you have to put actual work towards your priority.
You can think your priority is at the forefront of your life and get super motivated about being the guitar legend that you see yourself as, but the fact of the matter is, if you don’t work at it, then it won’t happen.
Ask Yourself How You Can Give More to Your Priority
Continue asking how you can give more to your priority.
How can you spend more time giving to it?
Keep asking how you can continue to further the gap between what matters most and what doesn’t matter at all. Before you know it, you will be able to give yourself completely to your priority.
In return, you will be that much happier for setting your priorities straight.